Aswani Nabwende/ March 12, 2019/ LIFE STORIES/ 0 comments

I have been completely insecure about my body until recently when I was looking at old photos of myself. This is not a new topic on this blog, I have previously written about my struggles with my pot belly and how I lived with the struggle. I still struggle with my pot belly, now it’s even worse because any sign of a protruding stomach and people are congratulating and asking for due dates of an imaginary pregnancy. I am clearly human, and I have struggles relatable to other women out there.

Until then when I was looking at those photos, I always looked at myself as a fat woman. In fact to get it off my head, I would announce that I am fat before anyone did whenever I was in a gathering. Not only did I think I was fat, I also thought I was tall despite the tact that I am only 5feet 4inches. I intentionally avoided sitting in specific angles and standing in the dark just so that I do not appear optically gigantic.

My photos of the recent past however put me to shame, they gave me a reality check and made me realize how beautiful I am and how my flows have played a big part in making me who I am. Looking back, I realize I am not a fat person. If the infamous slim possible was still airing on our local television, there is a high chance I wouldn’t have qualified to participate. I know bigger people than I thought of myself, and yet even them wear their beauty with pride.

Looking back, I do not see a gigantic lady. I see the smile in her face, a smile that covers her insecurities but which I smiled back at because it was just so beautiful. I saw eyes that showed the inside of a beautiful soul, then at that moment I realized I was not what I had perceived myself to be. In that moment, I had a flash back at all the complements that I thought were just being told, and I realized that they were meant and true, I truly did look good. My outfit made sense, my face looked healthy and even I would have thrown those complements at myself.

In that moment I realized I am not what I think of myself, I am better and I should know better. I now see a beautiful woman, I spend an extra minute at the mirror, I smile at myself, and I admire my own eyes and drool at my own legs. I now realize that even with my imperfections, I am still perfect, and I am embracing that perfectness.

Have you looked at your old photos lately? Do you see yourself in the mirror?

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About Aswani Nabwende

is the author and founder behind Jshare She has been writing as a way of improving her writing skill and enhancing her creativity. Aswani's education background is in Journalism and Mass Communication. She is passionate about people, her mantra is 'no greater wealth than service to humanity'.

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